Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Randomize
