Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Will exercising make me less horny?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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