Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
