Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
