Where did you get a picture of my penis
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
