he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My vagina just clenched in fear
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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