I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
