She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
