I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
