I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
