i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
