All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
