oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
This is my gift to your gina
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
