my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
