Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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