Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
