so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
