# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
