My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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