If i could tip my vagina, i would.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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