when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
im on a boat
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