wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
that's an acceptable place to lick
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
