I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
