Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
