Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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