do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
