Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
