New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
