Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
