I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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