What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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