dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
my poor anus
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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