he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
