well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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