last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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