sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
