So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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