I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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