She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
