Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize