her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
