We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize