dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
