I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
