I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
FUCK WHALES
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
