He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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