Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
