Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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