I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
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