Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
