: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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