He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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