I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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