His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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