Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
