He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
