my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
