Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We're too hungover to prance.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
