Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
