so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize