P.S. I can't hear my feet
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
