u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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