She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize