Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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