it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
