You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Randomize
